[Businessmtg] Fwd: ASP Structure, Guidelines and Policies

[Jon Markle]

I refuse to be intimadated by this sort of rebuke.

Hugs for the trudge.
Jon (Raleigh)
9/9/82

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

> From: Jon Markle <serenitylodge at me.com>
> Date: December 27, 2009 3:21:04 PM EST
> To: denise <denise at asp-afg.org>
> Subject: Re: ASP Structure, Guidelines and Policies
>

> I will not subitt to this form of abusive control.
>
> It is invalidating and uncalled for.
>
> Leave me alone. Please. I have no desire to carry on with you or  
> anyone else about this. You are out of line.
>
> Hugs for the trudge.
> Jon (Raleigh)
> 9/9/82
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Dec 27, 2009, at 2:30 PM, denise <denise at asp-afg.org> wrote:
>
>> Jon,
>>
>> As you know, every Al-Anon meeting has a responsibility to the  
>> fellowship to
>> adhere to the Traditions of Al-Anon. Adherence to the Traditions  
>> does not
>> mean that each group/meeting will be exactly the same as the  
>> meetings must
>> also follow the guidelines established by the group conscience. Our  
>> 4th
>> Tradition gives each meeting the autonomy to decide how that  
>> particular
>> meeting is structured and organized--being an "open" meeting or a  
>> "closed"
>> one and what format such as step-study or speaker meetings.
>>
>> Some meetings chose to be very loosely structured, while other  
>> chose to be
>> considerably more structured.  ASP is one of those meetings that  
>> has chosen
>> to be more structured rather than less so.
>>
>> Personal preference determines what format and structure is most  
>> helpful and
>> meaningful for each member of Al-Anon.  That is why each meeting  
>> may have a
>> different flavor/structure so that members can choose which works  
>> best for
>> them. Many attend several meetings before finding the "right fit"  
>> for them.
>> Those that prefer a minimally structured meeting are free to attend  
>> such a
>> meeting, just as those who prefer a more structured meeting are  
>> also free to
>> attend the more structured meeting.  A key element in someone's  
>> preference
>> often comes down to where they feel the most safe and comfortable.  
>> And part
>> of feeling safe and comfortable also means that the meeting format  
>> will be
>> free from criticism.
>>
>> The structure and guidelines and policies regarding ASP are clearly
>> delineated on our web site. In fact, we request that each potential  
>> member
>> read these policies and guidelines prior to joining to confirm that  
>> this
>> meeting is a good fit.
>>
>> Some other information contained on our website:
>>
>> 1) A wealth of information about ASP and Al-Anon in general.
>>
>> 2) Our recovery meeting structure—how our meetings are conducted.
>>
>> 3) Our service structure, including descriptions of the  
>> responsibilities of
>> each of our trusted servants.  Naturally, we can’t expect our trus 
>> ted
>> servants to meet those responsibilities without also giving them the
>> authority to do their assigned tasks.
>>
>> One of the founding principles of ASP is that ASP members may share  
>> their
>> personal experience, strength and hope without criticism.  Aside  
>> from the
>> usual Al-Anon prohibitions about discussion of religion, other 12- 
>> step
>> or "therapy" programs, politics and business issues, the members  
>> are free to
>> discuss any Al-Anon recovery related topic in the meeting. This  
>> information
>> is included in our welcome letter.
>>
>> Like most contemporary Al-Anon meetings, ASP discourages cross talk  
>> as one
>> way to give our member the greatest freedom of sharing their personal
>> experience, strength and hope without fear or any compromising of  
>> their
>> safety.  Since cross talk has not been defined by the fellowship,  
>> ASP has
>> posted its own definition of cross talk on our web site.   
>> Essentially, cross
>> talk is any dialogue between members.  In other words, if Member A  
>> shares
>> something and then Member B responds to Member A’s share, that is  
>> the
>> beginning of a dialogue.  We address this issue by noting that  
>> including the
>> text of another member’s share in our share is by definition cross 
>>  talk and
>> therefore not OK at ASP. This information is also included in the  
>> welcome
>> letter that each member of ASP receives.
>>
>> A more serious version of cross talk is when a member directly  
>> criticizes
>> another member.  We call this ‘flaming’.  Specifically in our  
>> welcome letter
>> we state:
>>
>> "To "flame" is to make critical, ridiculing or antagonistic remarks  
>> to
>> others. To do this at A Serenity Place is to deny the very things  
>> our Al-
>> Anon program fosters. If you receive such mail, please notify the  
>> list
>> administrator, Denise."
>>
>> It is important to note two things about this policy:
>>
>> 1.  Our trusted servants are protected by this policy just as much  
>> as any
>> other member.
>>
>> 2.  The prohibition against flaming includes both messages posted  
>> to the ASP
>> servers and to ASP members privately.
>>
>> Another version of flaming is called ‘flame bait’.  Essentially,  
>> flame bait
>> is a message that provokes other member(s) and is disruptive.   
>> Generally,
>> flame bait is more commentary & opinion than it is experience,  
>> strength and
>> hope.
>>
>> We have noticed that there is an ongoing problem with all of these  
>> behaviors
>> in the ASP meeting, the Business Meeting and in private messages  
>> sent to ASP
>> members.  Please note that all three of these behaviors are  
>> unacceptable at
>> ASP.  We hope that you are able to understand this and accept the  
>> guidelines
>> and group consciences of ASP in the future.
>>
>> Love in Service,
>>
>> D
>>