[Businessmtg] And how's that working for us?

[Kathy Frasier]

Top of the morning to you all,
 

Here's what comes up for me when I think about the issue of including all members of ASP in the discussion of what needs to happen...

 

When I first started Al-Anon on a serious level my esteem was in the crapper. I was full of fear that anything I said would certainly be irrelevant because how could I have anything of any value to contribute to all these wise people who seemed to be so much more evolved than me? I was a mess. Clearly, where I was at in my current state of life was a testament to my inability to function as a normal human being with anything important to offer anybody. 

 

Even when I first joined this Business Meeting I was leery of saying too much because I didn't want to sound like an uninformed dork.  I'm not involved in Al-Anon on a level that some of the SC or even some of the general membership in ASP participate. Does this make my input less valuable? I no longer believe so...but I did at one time. I am always reminded of this fact when I think of the line in a Bill Murray movie: "the world needs ditchdiggers, too." We are what we are, our recoveries are all individual and done at a pace led by God. 

 

I don't know why more people don't participate in the Business aspect of Al-Anon. I can only assume there are varied reasons but coming from my own experience I believe one reason is fear. The Business Meeting sounds so ominous when one is doing all they can to simply get by each day trying to live with current alcholism in their lives and deal with life issues, legal issues, kid issues, drunken spouses, wrecked cars, no money for bills...the list is endless. 

 

I believe it is important for us to lead and show the way. Life can be different. Something as little as contributing one simple thought or idea, have it discussed and possibly even used can be life-altering and contribute to one's recovery. We can be way-showers. But we can't show the way with closed doors. 

 

I frequently listen to old tapes of Al-Anon meetings on the internet at XASpeakers (or something like that - its on my favorites so I don't type it in). I love to listen to the old-timers speak at speaker meetings on this website. Some serious recovery going on in those meetings. As best I can tell, those people reflect a way of involvement of newcomers that I don't see as much currently. I totally agree that we as individual members of Al-Anon must do the work of our own recovery however in many ways it seems things have softened a bit. Now, this is not a topic of debate or discussion and by mentioning it is is not my intention to bring it up for back and forth discussion, but instead to point out that everyone has their own way of "doing it" but I have listened to literally all of the tapes on that website and as best I can tell the old-timers utilized the Big Book regularly. Now, I know this is something that's not allowed in our meeting and I'm ok with that as this is the structure. Me? I personally utilize the Big Book all the time. Or sponsors would swing by and pick up their sponsee, sometimes with a surprise visit. "Come on, let's get to a meeting..." has been told over and over by the speaker - that their sponsor would just show up and take them to a meeting. Is this doing the footwork of someone else's recovery or is it a God-led 12-step?

 

What I do know is that we are in a state of concern over where ASP is heading and I believe we should include the entire group in sharing this concern that will impact everyone. To utilize the thinking that we have tried things and they didn't work, or that we can't do this or that will, in my humble opinion, lead to the demise of this group. Because if there are no options or no changes then there is no other solution. To me it is just that simple. 

 

I personally like the suggestion of incorporating the topic of business into a regular weekly topic. That IS recovery in my opinion. Because emotions aside, business and operation is a part of everybody's life.  So is learning to put principles above personalities which can be very scary and very hard to do. I consider some people in this SC to be good friends of mine and actually learning that I can disagree with the opinions of those I love and care about and still maintain a love and friendship helps me immensely in dealing with my own personal issues with my family members who are in active alcoholism. Ya gotta love recovery and I am so grateful for the opportunity to practice these principles with people I trust.

 

And that's my 2 cents on this Saturday morning. :)

 

Love and hugs,

Kathy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


> Date: Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:14:50 +0000
> From: logmark at comcast.net
> Subject: [Businessmtg] And how's that working for us?
> CC: businessmtg at asp-afg.org
> To: geneskaf at hotmail.com
> 
> Biz-Pals,
> 
> [I caution my friends in the Biz meeting that my
> words may seem confrontational to individuals.
> Please accept that my opinions are mine and only
> address our principles, not our personalities.]
> 
> So what I have heard so far is akin to "We've got
> a problem. The solution is to keep things as they
> are." And so my subject question, "How's that
> working for us?"
> 
> We have a serious problem. A problem so big
> that almost from the get-go we all see the meeting
> folding as one possibile outcome. The elephant
> is in the living room.
> 
> I say we'd better take a hard look at our firmly-
> held positions and opinions lest the elephant
> win out.
> 
> First on my list is the idea that addressing the
> group's problems within the group - as a topic - 
> is bad for the group.
> 
> Second on that list is the proposal that business
> meetings are seperate meetings from topic meetings
> everywhere in Al-Anon. Find that idea in the literature
> for me, would you. Can meetings decide to function
> that way? Yes. Must they? Heck no!
> 
> If getting our collective house in order isn't on the
> agenda, top of the list, the group is in deep do-do.
> 
> Our meeting's standard practices were developed
> when ASP was nothing but the wonderful idea
> born of single person's recovery - why not do this
> Al-Anon thing on the internet? Our meeting's
> pratices were developed using the best thinking
> available at the time at a time when there were no
> thoughs let alone guidelines for the medium.
> 
> There are realities of online that needed faceing.
> Someone had to "own" the site; someone had
> to pay the bills; someone had to man the shop.
> That had to happen and I'm greatful it did.
> 
> There are consequences of decisions made during
> the early years which contribute to our current
> dilemma. Thinking that the group needs to be
> seperated from business may well be one. We are a
> more mature group, and holding on to the concept
> of all business getting done away from the meeting as
> a whole is, I believe, hindering us now.
> 
> Personally, I believe that a group conscience
> REQUIRES the input from all members, not
> just the leaders. G-d participates through the
> mouths of even the least experienced among us.
> A lack of trust in the process that has kept
> Al-Anon healthy for over fifty years is a real
> problem for me.
> 
> The steering committee can do the footwork
> and present its findings to the group for discussion
> and/or approval, but the minute the steering
> committee decides then implements, it is
> governing. That's not Al-Anon. Was it once
> necessary? Yes it was. No way Steve and the
> founders of the group could have done this fine
> thing without a very firm hand. Now? We are
> operating much more in line with Service Manual
> principles as they are applied in f2f meetings.
> 
> So, question? Are some of the policies and
> operation practices of ASP now out-of-date
> with the new realities of our meeting? Do we
> open up our thinking to change or hold fast
> to what clearly isn't currently working?
> 
> Here's what I think would help set us on a path
> to renewing ASP's health:
> ~ Admit we have a serious problem
> ~ Explore, within the wide variety of Al-Anon
> options, alternative practices
> ~ Bring these alternatives and the reasons for
> them to the group as a whole
> ~ Take the best we hear from the membership
> and integrate it into a new business plan
> ~ Try this new plan for a trial period long enough
> to see if it helps
> ~ Admit to what improves and reject what doesn't
> ~ Make any changes to our Policies which we find
> appropriate
> 
> Please remember, while some of us are used to
> one way of "doing" Al-Anon, there are others
> among us from other Areas or countries who
> have equal certainties that their way of "doing"
> Al-Anon is the best way. To me the important
> "way" for ASP is the way that will work today
> and provide for the possibility of working for
> quite a few tomorrows to come.
> 
> So what are the facts?
> There is only a small core of experienced members
> who participate in our business (though there are
> quite a few more members with long experience.)
> We hold to the Steering Committee format for
> exploring business options and in practice (since
> SC members are the influential and deciding portion
> of business discussions) the SC makes decisions
> for the group.
> Business meetings are held seperate from the membership
> (except for the initial invitation to participate and occasional
> announcement that they could join if they wish.) The lack
> of participation is assumed to be lack of interest. There
> is little encouragement of newcomers to add to their
> recoveries through this service - why it helps us as
> recovering folks individually - that business is a necessary
> element of recovery.
> The leadership may have the majority opinion that newcomers
> must take all steps alone - that doing for others is in all and every
> case a very bad thing. What then of sponsors calling sponsees?
> What of picking up a newcomer who doesn't have a ride to a
> meeting? There are a lot of hard-a**ed ideas out there that
> doing for someone attempting Al-Anon recovery is out of 
> bounds. Is this truly Al-Anon's foundational principle?
> If so, then we'd better stop recommending CAL and F2F
> meetings. Let them dig up their recovery from scratch.
> I think it's a crock.
> 
> More not-so-humble opinions :-)
> 
> We simply have to come up with a solution which keeps
> us from governing and rejecting the concept of a group
> conscience. Can the group decide afresh to reaccept
> our current policies after a full and open discussion? Yes!
> But holding on to old practices when the group has grown
> into its new era is rejecting G-d's participation at a time
> when His input is critical.
> Holding firmly to past ideas that don't work as well as we'd
> like is diseased thinking.
> Not admitting that current circumstances seem to be telling
> us that our house is not in the best running order is assuring
> that we will eventually suffer suffer some unpleasant
> consequences.
> Taking the other side, insisting that everything we do is wrong
> is denying the work G-d has done in getting us to where we are.
> F.E.A.R. may be guiding us. 
> 
> More, but this is certainly enough...]
> 
> I have a deep and abiding trust that starting with all possibilities
> on the table and all members participating we will discover our Higher
> Power's Will for us as a group. I also know in my bones that
> assuming that all of our current practices are necessary and
> unchangeable will bring us again to the problems we currently
> face.
> 
> So, going along with what I believe one SC member suggested,
> why can't we take one meeting a week and make it something
> like "The Importance of Service," or "Taking Care of Business - 
> A Practical Application of Tradition Seven?" If we, as the SC,
> bring to that table our situation, Al-Anon's Principles and Suggestions
> as outlined on the Service Manual, and offer to the group a
> recognition that Group Consciences are the core of group health
> we will be demonstrating in practice what we all know by experience
> and intuition: that Al-Anon's Principles - all of them - work in our
> lives and our groups. That is leadership. We lead by example.
> We do what works.
> 
> What I'm really fearful of is the line I'm sure each of you has heard
> somewhere along the way in your recoveries:
> 
> "If you always do what you always did,
> you'll always get what you always got."
> 
> Okay, a necessary admission: my thinking is limited by my inability
> to know everything and express it perfectly. I ask that you Presume
> Good Will. My mind and my ears are open...
> 
> Hugs,
> Jerry
> -
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> 
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> 
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> 
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