[Businessmtg] Business Communications

[logmark at comcast.net]

Biz-Pals, 



[I know that this is not the forum for sidebar 

topics, but what the heck.] 



My wife and I love each other very much. We haven't 

had an argument in our 26 years. We listen and talk 

to each other with understanding. Yet, when we communicate 

via email it is COMMON for misunderstandings of tone 

and intent ON THE PART OF THE "LISTENER" to bring 

unintended messages to the surface. 



My son and I love each other very much. We're guys 

and father and son, so we've had our conflicts. We're 

courteous and kind with each other - spent as much time 

together as we can (weekly minimum.) Yet when we 

communicate via email it is COMMON for misunderstandings 

of tone and intent ON THE PART OF THE "LISTENER" to bring 

unintended messages to the surface. 



In both these and other cases we've agreed to make 

personal assumptions that "good" was intended and that 

our "tone" is as it usually is when we are f2f. 



Al-Anon has a phrase for this - actually the theme 

of a recent WSC: 



"Presume Good Will" 



If someone TAKES offense it is their choice. There is a good 

page on this in one of our readers. 



Announcement: I will not edit my thinking or expression 

based on all possible negative misinterpretations. I / We 

would all have to be silent to accomplish this. 



And, as I recall somewhere in our literature, "Nowhere is 

freedom of expression [more accepted] than in Al-anon. 



Were I to attack someone, use hostile words which would 

demonstrate ill will to any reasonable reader, or focus 

anger upon personalities I would expect to be rebuked and 

receive a good butt-kicking from the List Administrator 

at a minimum. 



But I will not - especially in a business meeting where 

business has to be regularly done and concluded in timely 

fashion - edit and re-edit to assure that any trace of 

potential for offense could not exist in my words. I write 

it, spell check it, re-read it slowly to see if the words 

reflect my thinking, then POP I send it. 



In my experience there were quite a number of character 

defects I didn't know I had until I began Al-Anon service 

work. As a group treasurer, literature person, GR; as DR 

[oh, my, can a bunch of DR's get their pants in a bunch!,] 

and as a member of my Area's Policy Committee I had to 

face these defects of mine and do the necessary step work. 

I also learned there that there are some people who will 

never like me or never agree with what I say no matter 

that I've never done anything to them or spoken the slightest 

of cross words. So I "Presume Good Will" and presume others 

are doing the same. 



Business is Business. The same guy who shares on ASP 

topics (logmark) is the guy who sits in this business meeting. 

If you trust that guy, know that the latter fella is no 

different. 



Hugs, 

Jerry 

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