[Businessmtg] OT my thoughts: Dominance

[Sandie Parkker]

Hello biz friends.  It's Faith.  What Karen has written about dominance has
been on my mind and was wondering how to express it.  Here goes.
For me this is such a great learning experience being in this meeting.
Speaking about dominance in particular.  In my years of program, I don't
ever remember hearing about dominance.  Much less the word.  In any
meeting, f2f or otherwise.

I think for me, that if I don't know what dominance looks like, because of
the distortion of the disease of alcoholism, I would not know a) how to
recognize it and b). Because I don't recognize it I don't know how to
handle it.  Then c) I submit to it either in myself, yep, or in someone
else and then d) I may get angry or sullen because e). I don't get my own
way, bottom line.  Then f) I get fearful and frustrated and think I have
done something wrong, not knowing what dominance is......sigh.....then it
goes to g) blaming, deflecting....to h) total meltdown.  To h) losing my
serenity.......putting people on a pedestal.  This is how it goes for me.

*Or *it could go the other *way *if I do get my way, then my EGO gets in
there and I lose my humility AND go on my bossy little way......
Putting myself on the pedestal.

So either way, my program goes out the window.  Sigh.....awareness.

In H4t, today's read it says:  " often my first reaction is to tell them
how I would handle a problem. However, my higher power has shown me that
this behavior only alienates them. ".  It goes on to say:  " my children
tell me they appreciate being able to talk with me without being fixed or
bossed around. The more I monitor my opinions and advice giving, the more
my children share their lives with me and the more open an intimate we
become. ".  Back to keeping the focus on me.  And my parts in things.

So what can I do?    Monitor my own humility.  Sigh......all of this to say
how I am learning to how to identify dominance.  And I think I see it here
in this meeting.  Saying what I mean, meaning what I say and not saying it
mean....not internalizing it, either.  LGLG.

Peace and hugs,
Faith