[Businessmtg] ASP Officer Churn

[Steve Rankin]

Hi folks,
I'm going to try to speak to this issue.  As usual, I will likely ramble more than I would like it to be because this is more a stream of consciousness than a graduate level thesis.  Also, some of this might be more candidly than some may be accustomed to.
This is an issue that most Al-Anon groups struggle with regularly.  Even the healthiest face-to-face groups seem to have problems from time to time.  In my 4 decades of attending face-to-face meetings and 27 years of ASP, I have only seen one face-to-face meeting consistently have a full slate of trusted servants.  Until it didn't.  ASP has never had a full slate of trusted servants, although there was a time about 6 years ago when we came close.  Even then, however, there were consequences that proved to be worse than some service vacancies.  
So, why do we have this problem in Al-Anon, and in particular why do we have it in ASP?  I believe there are several factors involved, so here is my take on the issue.
1.  There is very little discussion of service in Al-Anon meetings.  Since we don't talk about service and especially about how much recovery we got from doing service - especially service that was challenging - why would we expect members to be anxious to serve and enhance their recovery?  Especially, if service means having less time to do their own personal stuff.
2.  Al-Anons all too often emphasize "easy", when talking with others about doing some Al-Anon service.  In fact, it seems that the main talking point is how easy it is.  When did anyone ever get anything truly worthwhile out of doing something that was truly 'easy'?  There is no free lunch.  Recovery in Al-Anon is no different.  
3.  A frequent fact with newer members of Al-Anon is that they don't want their life to change- they just want the alcoholic to stop drinking.  Naturally, they believe that if the alcoholic stopped drinking, Camelot would be right around the corner.  In other words, the only change they want is for him/her to stop drinking.  What me change????  Why do I need to change?  I am NOT the problem!
One of the most influential old-timers was wont to say "You need to be willing to let your entire life change."   OK, I'll admit that I didn't like that idea at all because there were a lot of things that I didn't want to change.  But he was right.  
4.  Personal priorities and competition for time.  How many families put 'sobriety' (practicing the AA & Al-Anon programs) as the Numero Uno priority in the home?  Most Al-Anons that I know believe going to one face-to-face meeting a week is good enough.  Yet, most of our members in ASP don't go to any face-to-face meetings at all.  Instead, they read our Daily Chair's opening to the day's meeting, and perhaps a few shares from other members, and write a short email share of their own (emphasis on short).  Most shares can be read in less than 30 seconds vs. the 2-3+ minutes for a share in a face-to-face meeting.  
Balancing family time/priorities.  Many of us came from alcoholic homes where a good example balancing life's challenges was not remotely present, so we didn't learn those skills growing up.  Effectively balancing our time is not just difficult, it helps to have willing teamwork with our family members.  
5.  Societal changes & beliefs.  I've learned that recovery is about learning how to live life on life's terms, not my terms.  In other words, working a program is a major reality check.  I'll stop right there on this one, otherwise I'll wind up on my soapbox.  😊  
So, how does this play out in ASP?
I compiled a list of reasons that I believe ten members who resigned prematurely, especially those that resign shortly after being elected to serve as an officer on the Steering Committee.  Please note that I word-smithed the reasons as well as scrambled the chronology, trying to connect reasons on the list with individuals won't work.  
   *    Had an unknown agenda; unable or unwilling to do job
   *    Unwilling to serve as a legal director of ASP; would not accept the SC decision regarding disciplinary action against a member
   *    Overwhelmed
   *    Resigned because she received unwanted ESH from a member
   *    Resigned due to controversy regarding their actions
   *    Resigned due to controversy regarding their actions
   *    Struggled with doing the job
   *    Struggled with doing the job & following instructions; work & family 
   *    Unable to convince SC of pursuing agenda against another member
   *    Unknown reasons
Looking at this list, we see that half of these folks resigned as a result of issues revolving around their personal agenda that they had for serving on the Steering Committee, and when that failed, they resigned.  Three had difficulty doing the basics of the service position, in spite of receiving lots of help and clear instructions.  Lastly, a very common issue we run into is the lack of understanding that serving as an officer on the Steering Committee includes serving as an officer on the board of directors of ASP. 

The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change; 
Courage to change the things I can; and 
Wisdom to know the difference. 

When I try to apply the Serenity Prayer to the numbered list above, this is what it looks like.
1.  I can share my experience, strength and hope about MY service in Al-Anon, and hopefully present a decently sober image of recovery in the works.  Hopefully, that might be attractive to some members.  What others do with that is not in my control.  
2.  I can challenge others when they try to push "easy" as the enticement to get people to serve, and I can offer the alternative of opportunities for growth through service as a better way to attract folks into service.  Of course, I can lead a horse to water, but I can't make him drink.
3.  My personal M.O. for attracting newcomers to actually "keep coming back" is to present them with a warm, friendly and safe place to be.  I try to avoid overloading them with a multitude of suggestions.  Instead, I give them just one simple suggestion.  Keep coming back.  If they don't then, nothing changes, and if nothing changes, then nothing changes.  It's that simple.  
4.  Most Al-Anons are overwhelmed with life when they get here.  Hopefully, they find enough recovery to grow past that.  And hopefully, they learn better time management skills of their own in the process.  But, as an old-timer often said, this program is not for those that need it, but for those that want it.  They have to want it bad enough to work it.  Sadly, it seems that only a few want it badly enough to invest the time and effort.  
5.  Societal changes and so on.  I'll just say that it ain't helping.  ☹
6.  What about those with private agendas?  Well, being manipulative is often a part of the Al-Anon condition, so I suggest that we accept that this will happen.  What can we do about it?  Frankly, I don't think we can do anything about it, except to not enable poor behavior that may surface as a result of such an agenda.  
When I look at the reasons for the folks on the list leaving prematurely, I don't see reasons that we have any control of, unless you subscribe to the belief that we should make service easier.  This reminds me of a face-to-face meeting that I went to very occasionally.  It had always a very small meeting; usually around 6-8 members and never over 10.  At this point in time, it was more like 5-6.  The member that had been opening the church and chairing the meeting wanted to rotate, but no one was willing.  So, this rocket scientist lady (yes, she was actually a rocket scientist) suggested that they split it up with 4 members each take one week of the month.  So, Member A took the first week of the month, Member B took the second week of the month, etc.  What no one saw coming was that 6 months later EVERYONE wanted to rotate OUT of serving, but there was no one left to serve.  So, the meeting crashed and burned.  About a year later, another meeting was struggling, and the same rocket scientist made the same suggestion, which led to the same results.  My point is that the more a meeting tries to dilute the service to make it "easy" to attract members to serve, the less members will serve.
Lastly, I need to say that the current officers serving on the Steering Committee have bent over backwards to work with newly elected members to the Steering Committee.  I think it is safe to say that the members of the Steering Committee invest far more time and effort into trying to help these newly elected members of the SC than they do.
Hugs,
Steve




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