[Businessmtg] SC/BM discussion

[Lynne]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my experience of the BM and SC.

My experience in the BM has been very positive - once I started viewing 
things through a different perspective. I remember there was a 
discussion in the BM when I was new that really confused and frustrated 
me. I wanted things to change and action to be taken! And the 
discussions were painfully slow, nothing seemed to be decided and in 
particular two members were very outspoken to the point I took it that 
they were arguing with each other and must not like each other. And then 
in the next BM, a consensus was reached on what I had taken to be an 
issue that would never be agreed upon. And then I found out that those 
two members were good friends. What the what I remember thinking. But 
what I had seen was the KBDM process in real life. It is supposed to be 
slow (frustratingly so at times) to make sure that all opinions are 
heard and taken into account and the group can reach an informed group 
conscience.

But that process works only if everyone- or at least the majority of 
people - in the BM participates and shares their opinions. We have 16 
people in the BM this month. And we had 4 people ask a question or 
comment that they had no questions during the admin reports section (in 
addition to the 4 elected trusted servants who gave their reports). And 
we've had 5 people involved in the discussion this week (6 with me) that 
is supposed to end today. I do understand that it can be intimidating to 
be a newcomer to the BM and to ask a question or share your opinion. I 
can only speak to my experience - even when I first joined the BM and 
didn't know anything about how Al anon worked and asked my fair share of 
newbie questions, I never felt that I was shut down or was told I was 
stupid for asking a question.

My experience on the SC has also been very positive - again once I 
started viewing things through an Al anon perspective. There is a lot to 
learn as a new SC member. What the job duties of my position were, how 
to do them, etc. But then I also had to learn what I COULD do as an 
elected trusted servant, what I couldn't do, what the SC can do, what 
the SC can't do, and what the BM can do that the SC can't. Those lines 
are clear in retrospect, but they took time to learn. I had a lot of 
ideas and was told no a lot! :) In a very kind way and with explanation 
of why this or that was outside what I could do or what the SC could do, 
or that it had been tried and failed for these reasons. At first it was 
frustrating. But over time I learned that every time that happened, I 
learned something valuable about how ASP and Al Anon work. And I 
understood those lines better and I understood the history of ASP 
better. I also never found that my ideas weren't listened to. There is a 
difference between listening and agreeing. I always felt listened to, 
even when people disagreed with me. Plenty of my ideas were agreed with 
btw. I've found working on the SC to be a great experience and I value 
every single person on it and enjoy working with them.

I also found that I had to learn to communicate well and in an Al Anon 
way with people whose communication styles are different from mine. This 
was a really, really hard one for me. But, I found that if I took what 
people said in the SC with the perspective that their intentions were 
good and that they do have a point they are trying to make, it allowed 
me to find that point and respond to it appropriately, with the same 
good intentions. This, more than anything else in my service at ASP, has 
been the most valuable lesson that I apply in all aspects of my life.

Hugs,

Lynne