[Businessmtg] ASP Business - Newcomer's Draft

[Steve Rankin]

Hi Linda,

1.  I'm not clear on what you are trying to say in this comment other than you like simpler.  That's great, however, we have a lot of administrative information to give to our newcomers in the Welcome message we send them when they join ASP.  This makes "simple" difficult, if not impossible.  Even in a f2f meeting where much of how the meeting works is visible and obvious, many newcomers fail to follow their simple instructions.  
>From my perspective, the problem stems from Al-Anons having far better skills at giving instructions [to their alcoholics] than from following them.  Frankly, my AA wife is speechless when she sees me reading the instructions for something.  

2.  About criticism.  That's addressed in our Closing.  In the interest of keeping it simple, my goal was avoid trying to cover everything.  Remember, we are talking to our newcomers about what we talk about in our meeting, so we're only talking about the very basics of sharing at ASP.  Each member should be sharing their personal experience, strength and hope. . . not talking about others.  Avoiding crosstalk, gossip and advice covers that quite well. 

3.  Favorites.  Yes, each of us has favorites.  However, a newcomer has none.  Without some suggestions, they have no way of knowing where to start, so they become even more overwhelmed.  Hence, our suggestion to start with some of OUR favorites.  

4.  About sponsors saying "No".  We have a saying in Al-Anon that "No." is a complete sentence.  When I say "No." that statement is MY statement and it comes from MY mouth, it represents ME and wherever I am at the time.  I own it.  And it represents my newfound self-esteem and growth in Al-Anon.  

It doesn't matter why a member asked to be a sponsor says 'No', it's still about THEM, not the member that asked them.  Whether it is because that person doesn't want to sponsor that particular member or any member, or whether their own life is a shambles, or because it's a full moon.  What we are trying to convey to the member ASKING is that it isn't about THEM!  If they think it is about them, they are unlikely to ask someone else.  OTOH, if they understand that the "No" they hear is about the member they asked (for whatever reason), and not about them, then it'll be easier to ask someone else.  
Jerry suggested: 
"Sometimes members can't sponsor another member; remember that is not about you. Don’t give up." 
which works for me.

5.  The precise wording of the Serenity Prayer.  Good catch there.  FWIW, the webpage that I found had a boatload of misspellings, typos, broken links and assorted other issues.  We cleaned up some of that when in this draft, but it definitely needs a good proof reading.  

Love and SERENITY,
Steve


-----Original Message-----
From: Businessmtg On Behalf Of Linda Hicks
Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2025 9:44 AM
To: steve at serenitysys.com
Cc: ASP Business <businessmtg at asp-afg.org>
Subject: [Businessmtg] ASP Business - Newcomer's Draft

Hi Business Meeting Friends,
I did read the Newcomer's draft and thank you, Steve, for all your work and input.  I have the following thoughts, questions, and hopefully some constructive input.

1/  I may have missed the information about the need to reconstruct the existing opening.  Personally, I like simpler better, and it is much simpler in my view.
I did not come into ASP as a newcomer to Al-Anon and it has been so many years ago, I do not remember how much attention I paid to the newcomer's greeting at that time.  I do remember the confusion and fear as a newcomer though, and I don't honestly know if I would have waded through all those words and information.  We are  all individually unique.

2/  Under the heading "ASP Meeting Format" the sentence that begins "We avoid gossip, crosstalk, or advise" - I would like to see the word "criticism" added.  I know it is in some of the openings and I remember feeling severely criticized as a newcomer, by family, friends, the alcoholic, and myself.

3/ Under the CAL where some of the suggested readings are described as "favorites" of some - we each have our own favorites and I think it's better than the person discover their own or learn from their sponsor and meetings which they might prefer. As we seasoned members know, all CAL is helpful and rewarding and fresh every time we read it.

4/  Under Sponsorship
The wording if a sponsor declines that said it's "about them" bothered me.
I can't give you a logical reason except it sounds so negative on the sponsor's part.  There are many legitimate reasons a sponsor may be unable to do so at a certain time.

5/  The Serenity Prayer has no "The" before the word courage.
Every printing I've read states........."accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change....."

Thank you for listening to my thoughts and input.
Hugs, Linda