[Businessmtg] Kindness and the Herding of Cats

[Susan]

Dear Business Meeting Participants, 

Clearly business meetings can arouse a lot of anxiety. Nevertheless, it is vital to group unity that we treat one another with respect. It is, in fact, vital that we strive to uphold ALL TWELVE of the traditions while conducting business. I have been troubled and disheartened to see several of them broken during this business meeting. The traditions should carry at least equal weight to that of points of procedure. Adherence to traditions is essential to group harmony, and by extension, to group survival. 

In one person's posts, I have noted a recurrent tone of scornful hostility, an adversarial manner rarely helpful in facilitating agreement, and reference to members of Al-Anon, including fellow members of ASP, as "they" instead of "we." I presume that everyone in this business meeting is equally dedicated to arriving at a Higher-Powered group conscience, and we all deserve an equal voice. We also deserve to be treated with kindness. 

I fail to see how insulting one another can possibly serve either an individual's serenity or the group's unity. It can only drive people apart. 

Based on what I have read, there is one member, and only one, who strongly objects to donating at least part of our surplus funds to WSO. He is entitled to his feelings, but others are entitled to disagree with the actions and/or inaction he proposes. Just as everyone has listened to this individual's comments, we all have the ongoing right to be heard now, including those of us who believe the surplus money discussion may have been tabled prematurely. 

I am concerned that the force of one person's negative, derisive comments may be having an intimidating effect on others in this group. Obviously I cannot know the motives of another person. But I can say that efforts at dominance, while at times tempting to the ego, do damage to the meeting as a whole. 

I imagine the aggressive tone that has popped up in our current conversation may be having a chilling effect on participation. I know I personally have had to think twice about posting, because I have been worried about getting a negative response. However, out of my faith in the power of the traditions, and my abiding respect for Al-Anon principles, I feel I must speak up. I am choosing to let go of personalities (including, as far as I can, my own). 

In Al-Anon, we have no leaders, only trusted servants. According to Tradition Two, the only "cat-herder" with governing authority around here is a Power Greater than Ourselves. Let's try, in all humility, to remember that. 

Respectfully submitted, 

Susan B. 

P.S. I think it would benefit everyone in this business meeting to have this "vote-able consensus" concept explained again. Surely we do not require 100% full consensus in order to bring a matter up to a vote? 








----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Rankin" <steve at serenitysys.com> 
To: sushon at comcast.net 
Cc: "ASP Business" <businessmtg at asp-afg.org> 
Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2011 2:47:35 PM 
Subject: [Businessmtg] Business Meeting topic 

Hi ASPers, 

Don't you just love the way Al-Anons play by the rules? They LOVE to write 
rules, but following them is like herding cats. Ugh. 

The Chair of this meeting has the responsibility for the agenda. Along with 
that responsibility comes the authority. No one else has responsibility for 
the agenda and therefore, no one else has the authority to change it or to 
ignore it and carry on with their own agendas, regardless of their intention 
or the value of their agenda. 

IMHO, ALL of the posts since Denise's note tabling the topic and opening the 
Secretary topic are out of order. 

That said, the Chair (our List Administrator in this case) has stated that 
we do NOT have a consensus and that the meeting appeared to be stalled. 
Frankly, I agree with her on both points. The meeting was stalled when she 
made that post and we did not have a consensus - potentially a partial 
consensus, but that is NOT a consensus. 

It's worth noting that the current topic - the Secretary - is a more 
pressing problem for ASP that needs to be addressed. So, let's get on with 
it OK. 

Love and SERENITY, 
Steve 



_______________________________________________ 


The ASP web site for ASP members is http://www.asp-afg.org/ASP/MembersOnly/index.htm 

For assistance with other ASP issues, contact the List Administrator, at denise at asp-afg.org 

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