[Businessmtg] This Ongoing, Damaging Personality Dispute

[Jerry H.]

My dear ASP biz-pals,


This is a share I have hoped I would never have send. Personality conflicts arise within all associations. They can and often do leave a wreckage behind, at times destroying the common bond which drew the individuals together in the first place. Al-Anon is fraught with such "opportunities" for our common disease to re-infect us. 


I first wish to point out the great success which ASP is. Nearly a thousand members, each recovering from this formidable family disease we all share. Some hail from crowded cities, some from rural townships, some from far-off lands with nary a meeting within a day's drive, indeed some, perhaps, without passable roads or even, where they do exist, the right to drive upon them without "acceptable" accompaniment.


It is against this tabloid this current personality conflict is playing out. In perspective its resolution should be a small matter. Who among us has not had similar disputes arise, persist for their time, then resettle to their recovering roots? Al-Anon is fertile ground for this repeated pattern. Through them all, though, our Traditions shine. The call to Obedience to the Unenforceable inevitably turns our attentions back to our common welfare: "Tradition 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity."


Unity.


Looking back at my years in recovery and service here at ASP it becomes abundantly clear that our structure, our founding policies and practices, and our business arms have been responsible for great successes. One simply can not ignore the thoughtful, Tradition and Concepts based formulation which has guided ASP - the oldest existing online Al-Anon meeting anywhere - through the roiling waters of an internet rife with opportunities for bickering, back-stabbing, ridicule, and, perhaps most of all, complete anonymity for those who practice the habits the dark side of electronic communications permits.


Steve did this. He, with others, created a structure upon which unhealthy people could find enduring recovery through this raucous medium. The structure and policies he initially formulated for A Serenity Place, at the time wholly owned by him, was, when the time came that this meeting chose to become fully self supporting in every way, adopted by Group Conscience by the ASP membership. That Group Conscience stands to this day as our meeting's guideline. Tradition 2. For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. [!] Our leaders are but trusted servants - they do not govern."


Each Al-Anon member is charged with both the right and authority to put voice to any concerns they may have regarding actions and behaviors within their meetings which concern them. The process of voicing concerns on the one hand and the hearing of concerns on the other is the stuff of conflict. Rare is the person who, upon hearing that they have overstepped, returns immediately to the fold without first resisting.


And, I believe, this is what we have here.


Actions were taken by persons in leadership positions which bypassed normal approval processes. Steve pointed out that for him these behaviors called into question his ability to trust certain individuals. At least one of these individuals chose to interpret Steve's  tradition-based "I" statement [paraphrased: I can not trust...] into an attack on their personal character. At least two members of the Steering Committee joined the latter view. Worth mentioning, there are others who have also lost trust along the way.


Because Steve has been quite reviled by name within this and other ASP formats over these past few years it is only fitting that the other names be also mentioned. Were this an indictment the case would be Laura, Sandie, and Jane v. Steve. L.,S.,& J. have regularly lobbied for Steve's removal from the meeting, business meeting, and steering committee. Steve has pretty much stuck with defending the group conscience. The L.,S.,& J. camp has made accusations of bullying and flaming to support Steve's removal. When asked for evidence of same, no convincing documentation has been presented. Only statements of opinion and those made in defense of the Principles and Policies which have served ASP so well for so long and as accepted by Group Conscience


Recovery, I've found, is often a weary path. I've seen an Area Assembly brought to it's knees from arguments over the price of a cup of coffee (absolutely no joke)! I've seen an Area officer extracted from their seat where no authority to do so existed. Meetings divided into two because of personalities. Meetings disappearing almost over night because of petty conflict. Lest we get bound to our troubles, let us not forget the thousand members we serve. 


Lastly, this conflict has all the appearances of being tragic. Wailing, pleading, resignations, foreboding. It is my experience that our Higher Power uses all and any means to bring us to faith and personal recovery. That is where I place my Trust. Whatever the outcome of this worldly quarrel, good will result. I fear not.


In loving fellowship,

Jerry

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