[Businessmtg] Conflict

[Jerry]

Biz-Pals,

Just returned from our Area Convention. Uplifting beyond description as these events usually are. A previous share here mentioned conflict. Wouldn't you know that while at the literature table my eye was drawn to some relatively new CAL which brought these past weeks in this committee to mind.

Al-Anon has a Conflict Resolution Kit. Now stop and think for a moment: Why would the Literature Committee of the World Service Committee have spent countless hours researching and writing a guide for resolving conflicts within Al-Anon? As it turns out there was a great need! Conflict in Al-Anon is commonplace! Who knew?

Well I guess we know now don't we. But we're not exceptions. We're well-intentioned folks who sometimes strongly disagree. We're also emotional in varying degrees and, if you're any bit like me, emotions occasionally get tangled with the Principles, Facts, and Opinions we bring to the table. This Kit offers suggestions for resolution and harmony rather than foot stamping and discord. Let me pull a short section from booklet S-73, 'Talk to Each Other, Resolving Conflicts within Al-Anon':

"Even in a healthy group, members may find themselves at odds over various group matters. Some members may:
~ Feel that an individual is trying to control or dominate the group.
~ Feel that the group is straying from Al-Anon principles and our primary purpose.
~ Disagree on meeting procedures or format.
~ Disagree with a group conscience decision."

So I wonder, were the authors of this kit sitting in our business meetings for the past couple of years? You'd think so, huh.

One suggestion which impressed me (as in - why didn't I think of this?) was there are occasions when conflict can damage a group to a degree that our primary spiritual aim may be lost. At such times it may be beneficial to set aside the order of business and address the conflict problem until such time as reasonable work can resume.

Perhaps our service here is especially difficult because of the very nature of email communications. Divorced from personal contact, lacking the physical expressions which accompany face-to-face communications, it is too often easy to hear things much differently than they were said and little opportunity to correct or modify misunderstandings when they occur.

One thing I'm fairly sure of is that the Topic side of ASP is doing wonderfully. Insightful topics. Member shares. Evident recovery going on over time. Our business committees, both business and steering, have the ability to screw this thing up if we can't get our crap together. The question is, so do we have the collective will to communicate our differences and fears, listen to those with whom we disagree, and come together to a common purpose using the Principles we have worked so hard to adopt into our personal lives?

I am left with a question to all. ASP has a long history of success in its topic and business meetings with only a modicum of conflict. It is in these past two or so years that our business meeting problems have become severe. Can there be any doubt that personality conflict is at play here? Then the more important question:

Are we, the trusted servants, able to place principles above personalities, work toward a better understanding of our differing goals, and somehow come to a working relationship in our business affairs so that ASP's primary spiritual aim - to offer comfort and recovery to those deeply affected by someone else's drinking - is strengthened by our service?

I don't have a clue how to do Conflict Resolution in an on-line environment. I hope someone can come up with workable suggestions, because what we've been doing hasn't been working of late and there's too much at stake here to ignore this particular elephant in our living room.

Please Presume Good Will,
Jerry
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