[Businessmtg] Churn over thoughts

[Sandie Parkker]

Hi everyone.  One of my perspectives as follows.

When I first started here it was the first time I started attending a BM.

In attending this meeting I thought one was to talk about recovery included
in issues as it came up in a BM.  ESH.  As one would do in any other Alanon
situation.   To explain why they think a certain way based on recovery,
about a certain issue.  When I speak about issues, I'm talking about
conducting myself as in an Alanon meeting.  Practice these principles in
all of my affairs, as best I can. Like I'm doing now.

If an Alanon BM looks like a regular BM, without recovery, may be that
scares people.  Or maybe people feel embarrassed or intimidated that they
don't have enuf self esteem or program  to participate?

Shouldn't people be able to feel comfortable enough to share they are
having trouble with xyz and be able to talk it thru with other like minded
individuals in the meeting, if there is a disagreement?

Some people like myself may not know what disagreement looks like other
than in an abusive situation.  I, myself, am a talk it thru person.  Does
that happen at home, not enuf.  But then my h has no program, so I expect
that from him.  But even in an Alanon program situation, sometimes, I have
to trust the person enuf that they will discuss something without
lambasting me in the process.  Let me clarify, it's not that it's 'them'
doing the lambasting, although it may.  But it is my experience with anger
that I have trouble handling a tone of voice, a gesture, sarcasm etc......

I thought it was great when Krissy mentioned all of her faults and took
responsibility for some failures.  That was encouraging to me. I respected
her more after she said that.  Showed me she was practicing her program.
And that  you can use honesty without being hit over the head.  Which in
and of itself is challenging to tolerate abuse and stick to your guns even
though you feel emotionally tormented inside when it's happening.  When I
see this type of recovery I think, gee, maybe I can have a conversation
with this person and be safe and learn something.  Honesty.

Maybe I still live in kumbaya land.  Sigh.....

That's all for now.
Peace,
Beverly